Curious event

The story is based on true events.

In June we sent our son to the recreation camp. We visited him once there and after the camp shift was over we decided to take him home ourselves.

We started early in the morning and decided to stop at the river to swim – it was a long time we hadn’t been out of the city. Before going to the camp my husband turned off the road and alo...

■  ■  ■

The Clit's diary

30 Jan. I hate Her artificial nails. Again scratched me. Everything hurts.

3 Feb. She was watching lesbian porn. Saw a lot of my bros. I guess they are good there... I came twice. Good. The second time was from envy.

5 Feb. She picked up a man. That drunk man with two-day long bristle was breathing long onto me with his booze breath then scratched me with cheeks and fell asleep pr...

■  ■  ■

Love is blind

This is really one of the funniest story my friend has told me. Here I'll be narrating from his name to make the story more vivid.

I work in a solid company on a good position. And there I have a friend. Also the boss, only of the adjacent department.

That friend happened to fall in love with one of the employees of the company. She responded. Typical office romance. He is a s...

■  ■  ■

Overprolonged abstention

- Our motto is solid – we excite you and never let in! - playfully Lena said as we walked to her house. – My girlfriend in the country a year ago played three months with her boyfriend that way.

- You can’t do that, - I replied.

- Really...?

Halfway we stopped in the park. I pinned her to the tree, embraced and kissed. My hands grabbed her ass and began to...

■  ■  ■

All guys have the same thing

I'm on the beach and thinking to snatch something from somebody. Almost no one there. There I see a young couple coming over. The guy is about 25 with short and dark hair. The girl is slim, about nineteen, brown hair to the shoulders. Settling close to me. The guy says to the girl:

- Let's go swimming. It's too hot!

- You go! I'll stay here to have a sunbathe, - th...

■  ■  ■

Come on and suck it!

- Andrey Vitalyevitch, I will n-never do-o-o like tha-a-a-aa-aa-at...

The secretary was sobbing on the chest of her stern boss. He was fatherly stroking her shivering shoulders.

- Well, Lena, calm down, crying won't help! You're a grown woman, how could you be such a goof-ball? This is a very important contract. Do you know how much it costs? And what it cost me to get it?...

■  ■  ■

Could you surprise a hooker

Could you surprise a hooker?

- Lera, how long have you been in this?

- Five years, probably. About that, yeah...

- Ever thought to quit?

- To quit? How would I pay my apartment rent? And my son... The salary of a seamstress wouldn’t give us any good future.

- OK... But this... m-m-m... work… It’s dangerous, isn’t it? Have there been...

■  ■  ■

Two of them

I met Tatiana recently, but we have already managed to try everything. Once after a certain number of alcoholic beverages we decided to have some fun. It all began quite casually: cunnilingus with blowjob, then 69 position, vaginal sex, anal sex. But our intoxicated with liquor brains wanted something more and we took out some toys: a strap-on and a dildo (22*5 cm - this is our main hero). Stra...

■  ■  ■

Playing cards

“Guys! Maybe, we’ll stop?” Even though we were pretty drunk, but realized somehow that the things would turn out badly. “Come on! Get in!” Four guys and three girls yelled in one voice. Whose idea was to play cards with stripping on stake, I can't remember. But since all of us were already drunk, the idea was taken with enthusiasm. And even I, thinking that I&r...

■  ■  ■

Fucked at wedding

I will tell you the real story of how I had been fucked on my own wedding day. All the names are changed. We were friends with Vlad about two years, but I was completely ignoring the attentions of his friend Alex. Alex did everything to get into my panties: flowers, surprises, etc. It was my pleasure, and I did not tell anything to Vlad. A couple of times Alex even pressed me in a dark corner,...

■  ■  ■

Evil parody of vapid stories

I decided to crack up a little over the subject of mediocre and vapid stories, and this is what’s come of it.

Hello! My name is Anna, although sometimes inadvertently I call myself Mary. But in this story all the names have been changed, so you may consider my name is Julia. As I said, all the names are changed as well as the place and the time of action, as well as sex and species...

■  ■  ■

Talky parrot

This story had happened about five years ago with a friend of mine (let’s call him Paul here). He lived in my neighboring house on the second floor. He had a very beautiful wife. They lived well enough. They didn’t have children for they thought it was too early to have them.

And one day Paul’s colleagues made him a present (as far as I know, he worked at the customs) &...

■  ■  ■


Kangaroo went to the river

Just to freshen up her beaver.

On the quiet riverside

She put down her fluffy pride

In the water for a while.

Damn! There was a crocodile!

Crocodile was smart. Of course,

Drove his meat down to the balls,

Shot the load and waved his bat.

(Girls got used to shit like that).

This romance would have be...

■  ■  ■

Little one

…Stop leaning your ears against the belly and asking stupid questions. Stop! Am I a boy or a girl? I’m a boy, a boy! Or a girl? Hard to find it out in the darkness.

My mother definitely wants me to be a boy. Boy’s life is easier – no need to look for a man to get married.

I don’t want it. All men are just crazy. My grandpa, for example. Every h...

■  ■  ■

The adventure on vacation

I really didn't want to go on vacation without my wife. I thought, my colleagues would laugh at me, it’s usually clear why go to the warm South alone. But the tourist voucher was just for one traveller, and Galya had her ill mother in the village... So, the circumstances were against me.

Here I am at the airport, my hands are holding the suitcase collected by my wife. I hardly...

■  ■  ■

The first time

Today is your first time. You lay back and your muscles are strained. You're desperately trying to think up something to distract him, but he doesn’t hesitate approaching you. He asks if you are scared, and you shake your head bravely.

He has rich experience, but the first time his finger came to the right place. He penetrated deep and you are shivering; your body is strained,...

■  ■  ■

Gay cats

Non-traditional forms of love are inherent not in humans only. One of our friend has two male cats. Gosha, and Tosha. Those are huge beasts and still are convinced gays. They fuck each other in turns, being absolutely not ashamed. They don’t even look at she-cats.

We brought them a she-cat, thinking they will choose the right path. So they had nearly torn her to pieces. They had bi...

■  ■  ■

My love

The first time I had, probably, seen him in my dream. Apparently, a very long time ago: maybe in childhood? I don't remember when he really came to us, I was not surprised of that at all. It was going without saying that he would finally appear.

His voice immediately filled the hallway, ringing, flying between the glass balls of chandeliers, and splashed into the kitchen. Brown slim...

■  ■  ■


Well, once again we got to bed. When that lechery is going to be finished, I don't know. Still you are my witnesses to see my attempts to get rid of her are neverending.

From the front door to the bedroom the on-off line of coat, socks, stockings and underwear is stretched. It's a shame! Again, leaving at night, I will not find a sock or pants, like last time. The pants have to b...

■  ■  ■


Playboy: Hi, candy. How do you look?

Candy: I have a red silk blouse on, a miniskirt and high heeled shoes. I work everyday. I have excellent make-up. I’m 90-60-90. What about you?

P: I’m 183 height and my weight is 60. I wear glasses. I have worn out jeans on and a t-shirt with the stains from barbecue – I was in the country with my friends. Smells like smoke ye...

■  ■  ■