Well, once again we got to bed. When that lechery is going to be finished, I don't know. Still you are my witnesses to see my attempts to get rid of her are neverending.

From the front door to the bedroom the on-off line of coat, socks, stockings and underwear is stretched. It's a shame! Again, leaving at night, I will not find a sock or pants, like last time. The pants have to be of bright colors, or at least glow at night so in the dark they'll be easier to find.

"Wait, don't be hasty. Let me turn the page of the manual! Yeah, this leg should be placed like that, and the second like that. Stop! I think I got confused. Let's start again. It says to turn the thigh out... Why are you screaming?! I haven't started the most important thing yet.

No, I am still a weak man. And my three main weaknesses are food, sleep and women. She knows this and uses that shamelessly.

Oh, how she cooks! Food is her weapon of mass destruction. A resistance is futile. She hits without fail to the very sick and vulnerable point of men - the stomach. And I have to say, everything in life but food, causes indifference and melancholy in me. Food is the only thing that gives me confidence, pushing for spiritual manifestations, and fills this world with some content at least.

And every time I work up the resolve to announce that I'm leaving her, she offers to fortify myself with food. After a feast I'm turning into one big and a kind face with puffy eyes. Quietly, not to frighten away the absorbed food by careless movement, breathing hardly and dragging my cheeks over the floor, I crawl away from the table. I’m strong enough just to crawl to bed, where she is impatiently waiting for my well-fed body. She slowly undresses me and proceeds to her meal. And if not for my vigilance, she would have devoured me whole. Often, waking up at night, I heard her appetizing champing and saw that my legs are already gnawed till knees. It’s good I'm healthy enough, and by morning I grew new ones.

"...Okay, now get on all your fours and show me the tongue. It says that the pelvis should be above the shoulders. I said above! Even higher!.. Ah-Ah-Ah! Be careful! I can suffocate this way.”

And how she cries?! Oh, she knows how to cry. Feeling that I'm going to announce our break, she throws herself on the couch crying, her skirt lifted up just enough as my damned imagination needs to want her right there on the couch.

In my youth I believed that sex is the most important thing in life. Now I am older and I have made sure that’s the way it is. From the point of sex our life can be divided into several stages. A childhood that gives way to youth, then youth goes, the sex comes, then the children come, then sex comes again, then come the grandchildren, then sex comes again, gradually to be completed by the same childhood.

Her enthusiasm in bed cannot be compared to anything else. Our sex is more like a restless fight. We fight with sex every day. The fight in this position, the fight in another one. And she seems willing to die in this unequal battle, but she will never give up.

As for me, I have become tired of wildness and sophistication in bed. More often I’d like to have simple and straightforward sex. To come home from work in the evening, to have dinner, to read or watch TV, to lie down in bed in darkness, to feel warm and live body, and quietly, without making unnecessary movements, to finish another working day.

"...How hard it is to choose one of the existing three thousand five hundred eighty-seven sex positions! I have to puzzle my head always. It’s not just sex, but the Academy of Sciences..."

I tried different ways to get rid of her. But she turned out to be trickier than I thought. It is impossible to make her sick of anything in me. I was dead drunk - she, as if nothing had happened, was taking me on her fragile shoulders and dragged me home. Exhausted with a very heavy burden, she threw me off outside pronouncing curses and pretending she was leaving. But I didn't even think to get upset. As soon as I began to be had an eye on me by a woman interested if I needed some help to get somewhere, she showed up right there. And for a long time her curses to brazen women were echoing in the surrounding courtyards. "It's disgraceful! A man can’t be left for five minutes without supervision!"

"Now pose upside down and let your hands off. Don't worry, I’m holding!..

Well, again I let her fall on her head. By the way, she didn’t make a sign she was hurt. I became weaker lately, I have to train with a barbell the next weekend.

Then I changed the tactics and decided to do everything to be caught off guard by her husband. I spit on our conventional sign - "woman's panties in the window” and rushed to her apartment, knowing that he was there for sure. Not giving time to recover her wits, I grabbed her up, pulling to the bed and I screamed wildly cumming. The husband stubbornly refused to show up. Then I began to run just in a t-shirt and socks around the apartment, looking under all the beds and opening cupboards, portraying a crazed desire of a gorilla to rape everything, that else moves. But whatever I did, he always failed to catch us together. Yet I was not able to determine where she hid him.

"...So, this breast is taken by left hand, and the second one... Stop! Hacks, they forgot to write, what to do with the second one!..”

And I don’t have anything to pick on. She never argues, never lose control of her temper. I can spend hours to bring her allusions to my affairs with other women, her silence just becomes more persistent. Still I can see her being extremely jealous of all that is not her. She's jealous of women, men, animals, things and memories. Out of jealousy, she sequentially poisoned my three cats. In retaliation, I had to flush her favorite canary down the toilet.

"...And now take a walk on me, and then be my blanket..."

I feel so warm under her! Cheat, she trained me to her so much that I have long forgotten how to produce heat when she's not around. And if she no longer warms me up, I might just get chilled and die.

And I always ask myself: what the hell do you, too choosy bastard, still need?! What do you stubborn asshole need, what’s not enough for you?! Look around! After all, these women are not lying around. You’d rather die, but still won’t find a better one.

Nevertheless, I gathered my strength remnants and decided to use my last chance, namely, to apply the lizard method.

First, I dropped off one ear, then one eye fell out. But she, as if nothing had happened, continued to love me, saying that's even better - there will be fewer competitors. But I could not stop, I got engaged with the process of breakup. My foot was dragging long, but, finally it was dropped off. The losses followed me one by one. The whole body was covered with festering sores and then I realized that the end was not far away. There was not much life left, so I decided to devote the rest of minutes creating the immortal work, to tell about her. She is everything! Life is meaningless without her. Life with her is still meaningless, but a lot nicer. She deprives of all strengths becoming infinite. She Is A Black Hole. To resist her attraction is impossible for anything, but me, perhaps. Still I have little time left. Soon it will fall off here, and immediately afterwards the head will be off. And there will be no one to wake up breathe a sigh of relief and joy to cry out about the absurd horror one stupid head could see in a dream like this!

I flinch and wake up. Fumbling my hand in the dark, I find her next to me with dreary joy. Shall I smother her with a pillow? No, I always have time to do that. So, I’m falling back asleep with that happy thought.